Two words: Pat Robertson. Also known as the craziest person known to man. Even though old people around the country love him. As seen here:http://tinyurl.com/2zd82e. He recently pledged his support to Giuliani, and I really don't know who this hurts more. Let's see on one side we have Pat Robertson, known for being super-religious, in fact that is the only reason that he is an important figure at all. And here he is, supporting a presidential candidate who is pro-abortion. On the other side, we have Giuliani, trying to garner some serious support from the electorate here. I think that people who know who Pat Robertson really is will understand why this move hurts him, and I will devote the rest of this to why Pat Robertson will hurt his chances. Which basically means I get to make fun of Pat Robertson for a while.
To start off, I'm not gonna lie. Half of this is from what I can actually remember of Pat (as I will now call him) and the other half will be from wiki probably or something along those lines. So about thirty years ago Pat Robertson did those wonderful church TV shows in which he managed to perform miracles in front of hundreds of people and many more on TV. People criticized him for being so faithful that God was willing to listen to him when he turned his organ on and picked out people who were obviously not pre-chosen from the crowd, but after that his healing powers were gone. He also once said that Episcopalians, Presbyterians , and Methodists were the spirit of the Antichrist. So obviously, he is a very religious, tolerant man. He announced that his prayers have stopped at least four hurricanes from hitting places he didn't want them to hit, most notably his place of business, though one of the places he claimed to have prayed for actually did get hit. One thing that I do remember that was absolutely wonderful was when he televised a nationwide 3 week prayer about 2 years ago. He wanted the entire country to pray for some vacancies on the Supreme Court, because he hated the people who were currently serving terms.
I know the question that you all want to ask me, "But how does he feel about lesbians?" Yes, I too asked myself this question when hearing of all his other exploits. In Pat's mind, feminism and lesbianism are very closely related. Really he thinks that... well let me directly quote Pat for you, so that you understand his position exactly. Basically, feminism is a "socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." What about being gay in general? Is there a problem with that? According to Pat, this is a most grave matter. Any acceptance of homosexuality could lead to hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorist bombings, and even a meteor striking earth. So let's make the clear jump from gays to terrorists here. How did Pat respond to 9-11? Was it the fault of terrorists? Islamic extremism? Who is to blame for 9-11? Who? I must know, tell me Pat! Well when one of his buddies claimed that it was caused by "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the American Civil Liberties Union, and People for the American Way," Pat couldn't help but agree. Of course! Why didn't we lock up all these people before 9-11? And it was right in front of our eyes the whole time.
This is getting long, so I'll just give you a couple more highlights of the long, crazy roller coaster ride that is life with Pat. He once said that it would be good for the country if we nuked the State Department. He said that he thinks we should assassinate Hugo Chavez. In Pennsylvania one area voted out all members of a school board who supported intelligent design. In response, Pat told them not to be surprised if they were hit by some sort of natural disaster (God's wrath) and not to ask for God's help if they were, because they abandoned him. God told Pat that the Iraq war was going to be a mistake (why did we ever doubt him? We must have been crazy). But he didn't tell us this until after, so I guess we couldn't have known better. Ariel Sharon's tragic stroke was the wrath of God. And I'll end this post with a direct quote from Wiki: on one of his shows "Robertson stated that people who have too much plastic surgery "got the eyes like they're Oriental" and stretched his eyelids in a manner stereotypical of Asians." Isn't it sad that these sound like Chuck Norris jokes, except that they actually happened?
In conclusion, if you were Giuliani, would you want this man saying he supported you?
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2 comments:
*clap. *clap.
So this is my first time hearing about Pat, and he seems like the most hypocritical person ive seen a blog about. Considering the fact that he is supposed to be christian, he seems to be very intolerant of others and their lifestyle choices. The whole wrath of God thing is hilarious, and predicting hurricanes is just rediculous, and it is disgraceful to christianity, possibly blasphemous. He should go back to Old Testament times where his opinions belong.
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